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February 13, 2006
Notes from Watching The Olympics
My TIVO is probably chugging away at this very moment, recording Latvia vs. Slovakia in Women's Curling. It really earns a medal of its own during the Olympics, recording away 10 hours a day -- CNBC, MSNBC, NBC -- you name it, my Tivo's on it!
The Olympics are great, aren't they? At no other time would I even think of watching speed skating -- it's a little like watching paint dry (in clockwise circles). Though I have to admit, if the networks would ever show Curling or Biathlon at any other time, I'd watch it. They said that Biathlon is the #1 sport on TV in Europe -- sounds aprocryphal to me, but if it's true, I can see why -- that's exciting stuff, watching those targets turn white.
But, of course, there are a few complaints -- mostly about the ridiculous TV coverage. First of all, the opening ceremonies. The ceremonies themselves are always absurd, and there's nothing better than hearing Bob Costas attempting to make sense of complete randomness -- "The man on stilts in the Groucho Marx costume juggling 5 clubs in the Olympic ring colors represents Perseverance". But can we stop inviting the news guy? Do we really need Brian Williams proving how much he knows with his NEWS 101 tidbits on each country in the parade of athletes? "Poland -- they're still mourning the Pope. He was a skiier, himself; Germany -- we actually went to war AGAINST them back in the 1940's..." Insipid and contradictory, since the whole point of the Olympics was to forget all of the geopolitical conflict and get the world together. And while we're un-inviting people, please never invite Mary Carillo anywhere. How did a lame tennis announcer get such a big role at the Olympics. No one even watches tennis, and those that do can't actually like Mary Carillo.
Speaking of TV announcers that don't make sense, is there anything stupider than using ex-athletes as commentators in sports they never played? "For more information on the intricacies of waxing your cross-country skis, let's go down to ex-high jumper Dwight Stones. And coming up, ex-gymnast Tim Daggett previews the ski jumping."
And about these sports...
Things have gotten a little out of control. Short-track speed skating is the worst sport I have ever seen. Not only does it just seem stupid that it's so easy for a gold-medal favorite to catch a skate and be out of the race, or get DQ'd for a questionable move, but it's also really boring to watch. They skate around in circles for 9 laps, then on the last lap they try to win it. Yawn.
Ski Jumping is always cool, and I have to admit, cross-country skiing is really exciting. I really appreciate the way the skiiers completely collapse as soon as they cross the finish line. The short-track speed skaters could learn something about trying hard from the cross-country skiers.
Now, about these "extreme" athletes. OK, the snowboarders did pretty amazing things on the halfpipe, and it's always good to see USA win, but can we just agree not to interview these guys? I don't want to hear how an Olympian is "stoked" about his run, or "tripping" about the pressure. At least pretend to take it seriously, guys. And wear a real uniform -- ski pants falling off your ass is not bringing honor to your country.
However, I will give the moguls a pass, because it brought us Kari Traa of Norway. She won the silver medal, which is impressive enough, but more importantly, she is the best-looking Olympian I've seen since the ultimate skating cutie, Ekaterina Gordeeva (Click to see the picture I had up in my high school locker in 1988). More Kari Traa, less Michelle Kwan, please!
Posted by JoshHornik at February 13, 2006 12:05 PM
Comments
The problem with the winter olympics can be summed up in three words: fortius, altius, stylius. BTW, what's your number?
Posted by: bill at February 14, 2006 09:12 AM