Josh Hornik Blog

March 02, 2006

Photoblog Chicago

Hmm... maybe I should get a digital camera. I finally developed my pictures from my trip to Chicago. 8 months ago.

Chicago postcard picture
Summer day in Chicago

Millenium Park in Chicago
The cool Gehry bandstand and the even cooler Bean thingamajig.

Josh Hornik in Chicago
Me in Chicago (middle, reflected in the statue, which was still under construction)

Posted by JoshHornik at 11:03 PM | Comments (0)

March 01, 2006

Where's ET? - Special Edition

I know Where's E.T. is greatly missed, so here's one for you:

Guess where E.T. is...

Can you guess where E.T. is in this picture?
Click here for the answer.

Need a hint? Try humming Sinatra's "Love and Marriage" - it might come to you then.

Posted by JoshHornik at 12:30 PM | Comments (0)

February 28, 2006

Reclining Pig at the Olympics

Don't know if anyone else saw this... I was watching cross-country skiing and they flashed the crowd with all their flags waving like crazy, and what should I see but a Reclining Pig flag in the crowd.

Which is kind of strange since not only were there no cross-country skiiers in the race representing Reclining Pig, in fact Reclining Pig is not even a country at all.

Reclining Pig at the Torino Olympics

Posted by JoshHornik at 05:53 PM | Comments (0)

February 17, 2006

Reclining Pig sells out again

Well, the sales aren't so good at the Reclining Pig Store, so RP has had to hit Madison Ave again. At least, he's going hip this time, with this new campaign for iPod. Watch for the billboards coming soon...

Reclining Pig iPod ad

Incidentally, if you're wondering what Reclining Pig is listening to, here is his playlist:
Piggies - The Beatles
Lay Lady Lay - Bob Dylan
Porcelina of the Vast Oceans - Smashing Pumpkins
Been Down So Long - The Doors
Lay Down Sally - Eric Clapton
Do U Lie - Prince
Georgia Slop - Los Lobos
How Much I've Lied - Gram Parsons
I Can't Stand Up - Sam and Dave
Take It Easy - The Eagles
Hot Dog - Led Zeppelin
When You Move You Lose - Rufus & Carla
Lean On Me - Bill Withers
Bacon Fat - Taj Mahal
Pretty in Pink - The Psychedelic Furs
Lover Lay Down - Dave Matthews Band
Maggie's Farm - Bob Dylan
Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Ham 'n' Eggs - A Tribe Called Quest
The Hawg, Part One - Eddie Kirk
To Lay Me Down - Grateful Dead

Posted by JoshHornik at 11:38 AM | Comments (0)

January 25, 2006

Reclining Pig: Oscar Edition

In honor of the upcoming Academy Awards, I scoured the photo archives and found these...

Philip Seymour Hoffman must wear this Reclining Pig shirt a lot
Best Actor favorite Philip Seymour Hoffman

Reese Witherspoon in Reclining Pig Couture
Everyone made a big deal about the fact that Kirsten Dunst had worn this same dress before. How did they not notice the gold poodle-skirt-style Reclining Pig that Reese had added as a special touch?

Posted by JoshHornik at 08:35 PM | Comments (0)

December 19, 2005

Ho Ho Ho

Here's some holiday spirit for you:

Sarah Silverman sings "Give the Jew Girl Toys". (Click on the link on this page to watch the video.) Hilarious.

And since it's so great, here's another plug for Sarah Silverman's movie Jesus Is Magic. If you like this video, you'll like the movie.

Posted by JoshHornik at 11:09 PM | Comments (0)

December 06, 2005

Boy, I guess I really am old...

You know you're getting old when you realize society has changed since you were born...

Today, I was looking at my birth certificate. Here are the official fields that needed to be filled out on my birth certificate, circa Sep. 22, 1970:
1. Name of Child
2. Date of Birth
3. Sex
4. Place of Birth
5. Residence of Parents
6. Name of Father
7. Occupation of Father
8. Birthplace of Father
9. Maiden Name of Mother
10. Birthplace of Mother
11. Date of Record

Notice anything missing? Maybe it could fit between #9 and #10?

Boy, what a backwards, paternal society we had way back when I was born.

Posted by JoshHornik at 07:42 PM | Comments (1)

November 03, 2005

More RP Art...

Apologies to all fans of movie reviews, celebrity sightings, and sumo reporting. All I seem to do these days is make goofy pictures of the Reclining Pig.

For example, my newest work: Bellini's Pieta

PS - don't worry, the Kyushu Sumo tournament starts in 1 week!

Posted by JoshHornik at 03:12 PM | Comments (0)

November 02, 2005

More Reclining Pig Art

Yes, we have a new entry in the Gallery of Reclining Pig Masterpieces.

Henri Rousseau loved the Reclining Pig!

Posted by JoshHornik at 05:16 PM | Comments (0)

October 27, 2005

Drinking Buddy Bald Eagle

Drinking Buddy Bald Eagle

No clever captions necessary.

Visit the Bald Eagle section of the Reclining Pig store now!

Posted by JoshHornik at 01:07 PM | Comments (0)

October 25, 2005

Bald Eagle 2.0

New in the Bald Eagle section of the Reclining Pig store:

The World's Strongest Bald Eagle

Currently available in Fitted T-shirt, Ringer T, and Women's Tank Top.

The World's Strongest Bald Eagle

Posted by JoshHornik at 04:44 PM | Comments (0)

October 22, 2005

Bald Eagle is here!

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls... Presenting the newest addition to the Reclining Pig store: Mr. Bald Eagle. Patriotic and beloved by all, he is sure to be the biggest thing since, well, since Reclining Pig.

Buy your Eagle shirts now!

And watch for Bald Eagle Lifting Weights, Bald Eagle Drinking Beer, and Bald Eagle on Cell Phone -- all coming soon.

Posted by JoshHornik at 01:43 PM | Comments (0)

October 21, 2005

Tales from the Lottery

Is it just me or are there always interesting stories about the lottery and lottery winners? This week's gigantic Powerball lottery brings a couple more...

How stupid can people get?
Answer: very. I read a story earlier this year about a lottery drawing in which an abnormally high number of people matched all but one number. Fearing foul play, the lottery people investigated. It turned out hundreds of people had played the same lottery numbers because they'd found them on a fortune cookie fortune. (The fortune writers apparently only use a few different sets of lucky numbers when printing thousands of fortunes.) What these lucky second-place winners didn't seem to realize, though, was that had they won the jackpot, they would have had to share it with all the other brainiacs who picked those numbers.
Now comes an even more incredible (actually, sadly, very credible) story about the Powerball lottery. About 840 geniuses played the same numbers -- a mythical set of numbers with great power -- from the TV show Lost. On the show, one of the characters won the lottery using the numbers, and the numbers have become one of the big mysteries of the series. Of course, you knew a bunch of weak-minded souls would go out and bet those numbers. Had the numbers miraculously come up in the Powerball lottery, each of these "winners" would have taken home a few thousand of the 340 million dollar prize.

Finally, in "rich get richer" news, New Hampshire senator Judd Gregg was one of the 47 runners-up in the lottery, winning over $850 thousand. What is amazing, considering his public servant status and his well-known millionaire status, is that he has not yet pledged to give all of the winnings to charity. In New Hampshire, we Live Free or Die, and no one's gonna tell me what to do with my hard-earned lottery winnings.

Posted by JoshHornik at 12:40 PM | Comments (0)

October 19, 2005

Owly's Pet Peeves

Remember Owly the Inquisitive Owl? He stopped by to drop off his list of Top 10 Pet Peeves. (PS - Owly clothes available here.) Owly T-shirt for Kids

Owly's Top 10 Pet Peeves
10. Tall people in the front at concerts
9. People asking him how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop
8. Cell phone use in the forest
7. The sun makes it hard to sleep during the daytime
6. $9 cocktails that are too weak
5. No news about owls in the newspaper
4. Not having hands
3. Why Batman? Why not Owlman?
2. When you eat a mouse and it has something gross in its stomach
1. People who don't use turn signals

Posted by JoshHornik at 02:16 PM | Comments (0)

October 17, 2005 is here!

OK, well, it's kind of here. At least, it's started to become here. But you can all set your bookmarks and come back often to see the progress. Enjoy.

Prepare for the future of the Internets!

Posted by JoshHornik at 05:50 PM | Comments (0)

October 05, 2005

Good things come to those who wait.

A few months back, I think I was searching for a picture of pigs swimming and couldn't find a good one.

Serendipity brought me this in the news today...

Look at those pigs swim!

Posted by JoshHornik at 07:03 PM | Comments (0)

October 04, 2005

Pictures from my company retreat

Went on a company retreat a few weeks ago...

Spider-Josh, Spider-Josh, does whatever a spider...
Here I am making like Crazy Climber. Yes, I made it to the top.

Product Marketing team or Big Chill for the 90's -- you be the judge
With some people on my team: (from left) Kristina, Eileen, Debbie, Me, and Chris.

Posted by JoshHornik at 02:17 PM | Comments (0)

September 30, 2005

Happy Rosh Hashanah! Sad Yom Kippur?

I believe the Jewish high holidays are coming up next week. I could be wrong. They might have been this week. I'm a little fuzzy on all that. I think Rosh Hashanah (I would be amazed if I spelled that correctly) is the Jewish New Year, and I think Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement. And I also think Yom Kippur involves abstinence from eating, which, to a Jew, is as serious as a heart attack (which, ironically, is often the result of the Jewish diet).

But that's about all I know. I live on the West side of Los Angeles, which seems to me to be equally Jewish to the Upper West side of Manhattan -- i.e. about as Jewish as the audience at Yentl on Gay Pride day (see, because all the gay Streisand fans would be at the parade, leaving only the Jews...) There are several synagogues on my road between work and home. I could go to one for the holidays, but I wouldn't even know what I'm supposed to do when I get there.

Why am I mentioning all of this? Is it some sort of guilt, or envy of the more spiritual, or a desire to reconnect with a milleniums-old culture? No, it's just so I can say this...

PUNCHLINE: I must be the worst Jew since Jesus Christ.

Posted by JoshHornik at 04:28 PM | Comments (1)

September 22, 2005

Happy Birthday, Chachi!

Chachi at 44Today is Scott Baio's birthday. He turns 44 years old today, emphasis on OLD. Hard to imagine Fonzie's little cousin Chachi Arcola turning 44. Even Charles In Charge should never have made it to his 30's. Why, it even makes me feel old thinking about it.

Here's an anecdote I'm sure Chachi can relate to:
I was at the local pizza joint, a frequent lunch spot, grabbing a giant slice and a Coke, and trying to grab some time to read another chapter of The Lost Night (on sale in fine bookstores now). As usual, the restaurant soon became inundated with little punk Gen Y'ers (or are we up to Z by now?) from the high school down the road. So much for a peaceful lunch, I thought, in a curmudgeonly way. When my order was called out and I went to the counter to pick it up, the rugrats were surrounding the counter. I attempted to push my way through, reaching around one to grab my slice, when a girl screamed and jumped into a boy, who flinched and hit my plate right out of my hand and onto the floor. I fought off the urge to yell "DAMN YOU KIDS" and went instead with a withering glare, that surely put that whelp in his place.

And as I went back to my table to wait for them to make a new slice for me, I realized: I'm on the other side now. The adult. The old man. Pops.

So I guess I understand how Chachi feels today (maybe more like he felt about 9 years ago today). But at least Chachi got a part on Arrested Development (funniest show on TV -- Fox Mondays at 8PM). I wonder if he still wears that cool bandana around his thigh...

Posted by JoshHornik at 05:23 PM | Comments (0)

September 03, 2005

New T-shirt Design at the R. Pig Store

We have a new section in the Reclining Pig Store: OWLY the Inquisitve Owl.

Owly T-shirt for Kids

Posted by JoshHornik at 05:42 PM | Comments (0)

August 26, 2005

Just Found! - Ingres' Pigalisque with a Slave

The good folks over at the Fogg Museum at Harvard think they have Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres' greatest work "Odalisque with a Slave" in their possession. It turns out what they have is really just a study Ingres did in preparation for this just-found masterpiece.

Pigalisque with a Slave

Posted by JoshHornik at 11:53 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 18, 2005

Back in a big way!

I have been shamed out of silence. When sporadiblogger (any chance I can get that word into the modern lexicon?) David Hornik writes a new blog entry faster than you, you really know you have been slacking.

Since I haven't posted in such a long time, I knew I had to come back strong to really blow people away!

Check out this site: Stuff On My Cat dot com

Posted by JoshHornik at 10:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 16, 2005

Another slow news day...

Someone got paid to do this poll. Someone else got paid to report on it. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Click for the most important news of the day.

Posted by JoshHornik at 02:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 08, 2005

Look out, Wal-Mart

Because my Reclining Pig store is growing faster and faster. More products being added daily (because it is too much fun making them to stop).

Now available: Vampire Pig and Where's ET merch, too.

And check out this must-have for your car's bumper.

Posted by JoshHornik at 10:31 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 04, 2005

Get your Reclining Pig gear!

Announcing the opening of the Reclining Pig Store!

Now available: T-shirts in many styles, hats, and coffee mugs.

Coming soon: New styles, more products, maybe even some designs beyond just the Pig...

Get your Christmas shopping done early.

Posted by JoshHornik at 05:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 09, 2005

Notes from Las Vegas

Spent the weekend in Las Vegas. You can't spend a couple days in Las Vegas without seeing and hearing some interesting things...

I was sitting at a blackjack table with a couple of guys from Holland. They spoke nothing but Dutch, except for a couple of words in English for the dealer. Until finally, when one of them left to do something else and the other one said "See you later, alligator." (Very funny in a Dutch accent.)

I must be getting bigger. Sat down at one table and the guy next to me asked if I work out, then asked for my advice on whether or not he should take steroids. Apparently, he has friends who've done it with good results. (My clearly expert advice was that he shouldn't take it, but I chose not to remind him that steroids are illegal.)

OK, say what you want about the French, but I was waiting for the next Bellagio fountain show next to a French couple, and the man decided to buy a flower for his girlfriend from a street vendor. When the woman protested with the cutest little pouty "Cheri" (yes, she actually called him Cheri), I have to admit part of me wanted to be French (OK, or at least date a French woman), too.

Stayed at a great hotel -- a Motel 6 just across the highway from the Strip. When I went out to my car Sunday morning, there was a police car in the parking lot and a very upset-looking couple. Then I looked at their green Mustang, 2 spots down from my car. At some point during the night, all 4 of the car's wheels had been removed, leaving the car propped on a broken plastic chair. Note to self: park under a lightpost next time.

All in all, a good trip -- great weather, saw the new casino, the Bellagio fountains, the Prince tribute band that plays at the cheesy Boardwalk casino, and played many songs on killer drumming game Drumscape (in the NY, NY arcade). Oh yeah, and was never down any money the whole trip and won over $600. (You could, too. I know the perfect book to learn how.)

Posted by JoshHornik at 11:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 06, 2005

Happy Birthday, Herbert Peduddy

Before there was a Reclining Pig. Before Owly the Inquisitive Owl. Before Socktopus. Before Kani-san, the Japanese Robot Crab, and Vampire Pig, and Black Cat. Before all of those (and just after Hood Wolf) there was HERBERT PEDUDDY, the doodle to end all doodles. Born of a scoliotic spine drawing in 6th grade science class, Herbert turns 23 years old on Sunday, May 8. Happy Birthday, old friend!Herbert Peduddy

Posted by JoshHornik at 03:34 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 03, 2005

Happy Anniversary to my arm

Today is the 1-year anniversary of "the accident". In which our hero, lightheaded from the joy of completing an early-morning workout, fell and did a swan dive into a non-tempered glass window.
Yeah, right, a few little pieces of tape will hold that together...

I celebrated by going for an early-morning run in those same once blood-soaked shoes. But, have no fear, since I'm so out of shape that I was in way too much pain to stretch after my run, there was no danger of repeating the deed. 1 year later, what have I learned? For starters, to stand away from the window when stretching.

The event still burns pretty brightly in my memory. I won't bore with the story all over again. Just a few highlight memories:

...thinking after I had fallen and crashed through the glass "hmm, I just broke a window. I wonder if I cut myself." ... the panic when I almost passed out in my room before calling the ambulance (I guess I instinctively knew that would be a very bad thing) ... subsequently, the feeling of safety and relief when the ambulance arrived and the paramedics sat me down and bandaged my arm ... the feel of blood dripping on the non-anesthetized part of my arm from out of the anesthetized wound while I sat in the ER ... the way my arm looked like Frankenstein's monster, half-stapled, half-stitched after ER and OR procedures ... and, finally, watching one of the 2-week old cuts slowly open up as the doctor cut the stitches out. (I'm still angry about that. It is one damned ugly scar.)

Well, enough about that. My left triceps has finally amost caught up to the right in strength and at some point I'll be used to the scars. Happy anniversary to me...

Posted by JoshHornik at 04:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 29, 2005

Even socially inappropriate couples love Reclining Pig

I spotted this picture online and the mark on Katie's arm intrigued me, so I found a closer shot and sure enough, check out her tattoo...

(PS - Sorry if this picture grosses anyone out. For those who haven't looked it up, he's 42, she's 25.)

Posted by JoshHornik at 02:46 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 25, 2005

Public Service Campaign series, #2

This was as a result of a personal request from a VP over at Penguin Books. (Yes, I take requests.)

Posted by JoshHornik at 11:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 21, 2005

Got Ham?

Well, I suppose given the cultural phenomenon that Reclining Pig has become, this was bound to happen eventually...

Posted by JoshHornik at 07:08 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 20, 2005

Reclining Pig, or Infallible Pig -- you be the judge

Ol' Ratzy's cooler than I thought...

Posted by JoshHornik at 06:49 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 15, 2005

Statistically Improbable Phrases

Amazon has this new feature called "Statistically Improbable Phrases". For every book that you can "search inside", they have found all the 2 or 3 word phrases that appear multiple times in the book but that you would only find very rarely in other books. In other words, it is statistically improbable that the phrase would appear so many times in a book.

The math is unimportant, and it's hard to think of a reason I would use SIP's (as Amazon calls them). But it's fun to look at them, anyway.

For example, you are more likely to see the phrase "sweater pocket", "lame saint", and "seeded womb" in the book The Da Vinci Code than in most other books. (Probably not all in the same sentence, though, I imagine.)

Stephen King, in the book Pet Sematary, must have enjoyed using the phrase "fucking cat". He wrote it 4 times, which is twice as many times as the 2nd place book in "fucking cat" references ("My Soul to Keep" by Tananarive Due).

It got me thinking that a fun game would be trying to guess the book based on the SIP's. So here goes. I'll put the phrase(s) -- you guess the book. For example, if the phrase is "giant peach", the answer is -- obviously, James and the Giant Peach. Click the phrase to see the answer.

1. "Psychedelic movement", "hip world", "acid heads", and "donkey beads"
2. "Hands for the conch"
3. "His tomahawk pipe", "pagan harpooneers", and "white hump"
4. "Objective sensory stimuli", "involuntary ideas", "psychical sources" and "unpleasurable dreams"
5. "Silly noises", "pantomime horses" and "nude organist"
6. "He ejaculated" (Sorry, that is an inside joke that I suspect even the one person it's aimed at may not get.)
7. Guess the subject: "first electric set", "album version" and "harmonica solo"
8. "Poor orphan child" and "bethought myself"
9. This one's a play: "ass head"
10. I wish I could say I would have known this one: "pensive bosom", "absentminded beggar", "seaside girls" and "tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom"

Well, that should be enough to earn me some free drinks at the Mensa parties...

Posted by JoshHornik at 06:42 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 08, 2005

Reclining Pig Sur L'Herbe

Posted by JoshHornik at 01:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 07, 2005

New R. Pig pic

Lauri mentioned the other day that she thought Lauren Graham, star of WB mega-hit show Gilmore Girls, seemed like the type to wear a Reclining Pig shirt and, sure enough, a little searching on the Internet revealed this picture. Thanks to Web site "Super Hottie - Lauren Graham". (Note: although I appreciate the sentiment, I am in no way associated with that site.)

Posted by JoshHornik at 01:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 30, 2005

Teri Hatcher / Terri Schiavo follow-up

I just wanted to point out that the picture in the post below is in fact a doctored picture of Terri Schiavo with the head of Teri Hatcher. However, I didn't really change the Teri Hatcher picture at all -- original picture was some glamour shot of her in a gown. I just think it's hilarious that Teri Hatcher's sexy look also passes as a brain-dead vegetative state.

Sorry if I offended. (I know there are a lot of Desperate Housewives fans out there.)

Posted by JoshHornik at 03:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 28, 2005

Reclining Pig is back!

There were calls for Reclining Pig on the new blog.
Here's a picture I found of P. Diddy wearing a cool sleeveless red RP to the Charlie's Angels premiere. Does it get any cooler?

Posted by JoshHornik at 01:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 27, 2005

A Fresh Start

Welcome to Josh's blog v2.0.
Don't let the bastards get you down, they say. Well, I'm not. I've moved my hosting business to friendlier places and I've picked up a nifty easy-to-remember URL along the way. (Note: is not dead. As soon as I figure out how, I'll be moving it over and keeping the URL.)

Anyway, I'm going to take my unexpected exile as an opportunity -- to grow, to improve, to gain in stature, to mature. In short, no more frivolous posts about meaningless fluff like celebrity sightings and TV shows and Sumo wrestling. Nothing but philosophy, deep thoughts, and grand visions from now on.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the BLOG...

Posted by JoshHornik at 02:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack